Sunday, September 29, 2019
We Miss You.
It was the first time your best friend didn't get a hilarious sassy birthday card from you. It was the Anthropology sale, where you find all those great deals. The sale has passed and your friends are missing stories of your great finds. Seeing you with your camera at the soccer games. And just being at home preparing snacks for your kids and greeting them when they come home from school. Open houses have passed. Your eldest has brought home her first wood working project and wants to redecorate her room (again). They are building a Hobby Lobby near my house and you would have been so excited. Reaching out to hold mom's hand. And giving dad a hug. Sabrina wanting your warm lap and scratch behind her ear. Meals are from Costco and cookies are store bought. You would roll your eyes. Huffles is still angry at the world and your oldest keeps love him like no other. Faithfully, trying to break down the hard exterior. I can't imagine as the years roll by that it gets easier. It seems to me that it's getting harder.
I met with a Reading Specailist
Well,
I met with a Reading Specialist and 15 minute into the conversation we both realized that she is a firm believer in Whole- Part-Whole language learning through reading books. And I am a firm believer in Part to Whole language learning through sequential and systematic teaching with books that follow the sequential teaching. You know each are passionate about their beliefs and do not budge. I budged only because I am uncomfortable in confrontational settings and lack academic vocabulary.
It was very hard for me to hear for an hour and a half all the things (that taught me how to read; as a struggling reader) was wrong. And that I should have struggling readers not sound out words but guess and then affirm them when they are wrong. At one point she was modeling her method and I started to cry. It must have been the trauma of my whole to part schooling resurfacing. And I said to her then I can't be a Reading Specialist. If that is how they want me to teach then I need to change jobs. I just wished I could have the confidence to be a Dyslexic Therapist full time. No retirement, no health care, no guarantee of students, and not enough pay to support my mortgage/bills.
I need to believe in my method. I need to believe in my scores. I need to believe in my training. I have my evidence. I have my life to prove this works. I have realized that I need affirmation.....probably more than the average person. This would be the product from the public school system failing to teach me how to read. I am Dyslexic. The Whole to Part left me with uncertainty, lack of connection in my brain, anxiety, little reading skills, and no confidence.
The IDA conference will give me that boost. That support. That affirmation. (Plus, I will get to meet Barbara Wilson and tell her face to face 'Thank you'!!!!!) And I will pray that God will give me the confidence to finish this year strong in my beliefs. Then find a place where I will get affirmation through my boss or coworkers.
On a bright note. During the meeting a fourth grader came to my room asking for an assignment for her and her friends to do in her classroom. A little sunlight beaming through the rain clouds.
I met with a Reading Specialist and 15 minute into the conversation we both realized that she is a firm believer in Whole- Part-Whole language learning through reading books. And I am a firm believer in Part to Whole language learning through sequential and systematic teaching with books that follow the sequential teaching. You know each are passionate about their beliefs and do not budge. I budged only because I am uncomfortable in confrontational settings and lack academic vocabulary.
It was very hard for me to hear for an hour and a half all the things (that taught me how to read; as a struggling reader) was wrong. And that I should have struggling readers not sound out words but guess and then affirm them when they are wrong. At one point she was modeling her method and I started to cry. It must have been the trauma of my whole to part schooling resurfacing. And I said to her then I can't be a Reading Specialist. If that is how they want me to teach then I need to change jobs. I just wished I could have the confidence to be a Dyslexic Therapist full time. No retirement, no health care, no guarantee of students, and not enough pay to support my mortgage/bills.
I need to believe in my method. I need to believe in my scores. I need to believe in my training. I have my evidence. I have my life to prove this works. I have realized that I need affirmation.....probably more than the average person. This would be the product from the public school system failing to teach me how to read. I am Dyslexic. The Whole to Part left me with uncertainty, lack of connection in my brain, anxiety, little reading skills, and no confidence.
The IDA conference will give me that boost. That support. That affirmation. (Plus, I will get to meet Barbara Wilson and tell her face to face 'Thank you'!!!!!) And I will pray that God will give me the confidence to finish this year strong in my beliefs. Then find a place where I will get affirmation through my boss or coworkers.
On a bright note. During the meeting a fourth grader came to my room asking for an assignment for her and her friends to do in her classroom. A little sunlight beaming through the rain clouds.
Time to Celebrate
Well, your oldest scored a goal in yesterday's game. It changed her whole style of play. It made her more confident, aggressive, and attentive. She was so happy. Although trying her best to high it....Tía brought the smiles out. We then celebrated by going to Dutch Bros. and shopping. She picked out the cutest boots for Christmas. Our shopping was cut short and Grandma had the cutest/saddest reaction. You know the connection we have...Grandma goes to one more place and we went to the car and just giggled.
I had game night at my house and we just giggled...we were on the same team and there is this connection that is un-explainable. You know....we knew the day that she first focused on me. One of the best days of my life. The best gift you gave me was having kids. She is beautiful...even with pimples and braces! We won by the way.....Pictionary.
She has another game today. I hope the rain stops. I can imagine it's no fun playing in the rain.
I had game night at my house and we just giggled...we were on the same team and there is this connection that is un-explainable. You know....we knew the day that she first focused on me. One of the best days of my life. The best gift you gave me was having kids. She is beautiful...even with pimples and braces! We won by the way.....Pictionary.
She has another game today. I hope the rain stops. I can imagine it's no fun playing in the rain.
Tuesday, September 24, 2019
Needing a Benediction
I have decided that having a Benediction each morning would get me in the right mindset. And I love hearing about it every morning. I call my dad on my way to work and he finds a different one for me each day (with some repeats on the classic ones).
Numbers 6:22-26 - The LORD said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
And this was a text I got from my dad: May the love of the Father, the tenderness of the Son, and the presence of the Spirit, gladden your heart and bring peace to your soul, this day and all days, Amen.
But I have also changed some things in my day that is helping me make better choices, have a better attitude, and being more productive.
1. I am now taking a lunch. And for the first time in my professional career (21 years) I'm not working through my lunch. I'm texting with friends, browsing through the Internet, and checking Instagram feeds.
2. I'm closing and locking my door during planning and prep time.
3. I'm saying 'no' more often. (I need to work on this one)
4. I'm playing outdoor games with the students during recess and giving a lot of High Fives.
5. I'm venting on this Blog and not to co-workers.
6. Leaving on time and not bringing anything home.
7. If I wake up early I get up and enjoy a cup of coffee with mood lightening, plushy pillows, cool breeze, maybe an extra long shower, and a little Sandy Patti.
This week has been a lot better. And I have actually enjoyed teaching Reading with my kids.
Numbers 6:22-26 - The LORD said to Moses, “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
And this was a text I got from my dad: May the love of the Father, the tenderness of the Son, and the presence of the Spirit, gladden your heart and bring peace to your soul, this day and all days, Amen.
But I have also changed some things in my day that is helping me make better choices, have a better attitude, and being more productive.
1. I am now taking a lunch. And for the first time in my professional career (21 years) I'm not working through my lunch. I'm texting with friends, browsing through the Internet, and checking Instagram feeds.
2. I'm closing and locking my door during planning and prep time.
3. I'm saying 'no' more often. (I need to work on this one)
4. I'm playing outdoor games with the students during recess and giving a lot of High Fives.
5. I'm venting on this Blog and not to co-workers.
6. Leaving on time and not bringing anything home.
7. If I wake up early I get up and enjoy a cup of coffee with mood lightening, plushy pillows, cool breeze, maybe an extra long shower, and a little Sandy Patti.
This week has been a lot better. And I have actually enjoyed teaching Reading with my kids.
New Foster Kittens
I have about two more weeks with these lovely furniture ruining fluff balls.
They are going to be adopted very quickly. I just hope the mama gets adopted so she doesn't have to stay at the shelter.
Sunday, September 22, 2019
Stressed
Well my job this year is stressful as ever. My Title 1 school is no joke when it comes to trauma, lack of support, and Dog Eat Dog kind of world.
I have a schedule like no other. I have had this schedule before and I wish I would of documented how stressful it was to remind me not to return. Back to back classes, morning, recess, afternoon duty, and 40 kid case load.
It's the same business of yelling, screaming, throwing chairs, hitting others, running away, and taking every opportunity to skip class; at this is elementary school. I hear it down the hall and next door to my classroom. There is probably abuse going on at homes. We have called department of child services and the same record has been played of nothing being done.
It is abusive how the adults are being treated. And we are told to document, use resorative conversations, community circles, reward systems, and give them squishy toys to get them to talk about how they are feeling. I don't see it getting any better. As a specialist, I don't get PLC time, Art/PE/Library, counseling, morning/afternoon recess breaks, and so far not a lunch. My case load is 2 or 3 times the size of the classroom teachers with the addition of morning and afternoon duties. Plus, not only am I supporting the struggling readers (mostly ESL and SPED students) they want me to support the social emotional struggling students during the only free time I have to use the bathroom. If I say no then I'm shamed for not helping these students.
Five years ago I did have a calling to bring reading remediation to Title 1 schools. And I would love for that passion to return. But when kids are surrounding a smaller female student in an aggressive gang like behavior as means of intimidation. And then targeting her numerous times after she told them to stop as she is crying and hugging me for protection; I just don't think my heart can take anymore abuse.
I was hired to help struggling readers learn how to read. But I'm finding that I'm spending more of my time parenting children on how to make better choices. That's not what my degree is in. These children are needing to be taught how to hold a conversation, how to be nice, how to share, how to tell the truth, how to be flexible, how to be respectful, how to listen, how to play together, and how to work as a team. Students in my Title 1 school are trying to survive life and that doesn't not fit in with the classroom environment. If these behaviors were happening at an affluent school the parents would be demanding a change. This is a special calling and I guess I don't have what it takes anymore.
Where is our support? Where are the Instructional Assistants? Where are the Sped teachers? Where are the Paraeducators? It is very frustrating when we don't have enough Sped teachers to meet all their student's minutes so they put the students in my reading class. The ESL program isn't helping improve their reading so teachers put them in my reading class. However, I'm not ESL or SPED endorsed. So, when my case load is over 50% ESL students shouldn't that tell the district that we need more ESL teachers? When Sped students are put in an intervention class to meet their reading minutes shouldn't that tell the district that we need more Sped teachers? And if I'm spending more of my time, including my planning for supporting social emotional students, shouldn't the district allow a budget to support these students so I can focus on getting students to read a grade level? Or maybe I could get equal amounts of planning time like my coworkers; that would be nice?
Survival Mode. I look back at my old posts on teaching. I want that back. My fifth year in Title 1....make it or break it. I'm curious if I end up staying in this profession. So far three teachers have cried while having a conversation with me; and it's only September! Will I find my passion again? Will I find a home where I can bring my OG multisensory style of teaching reading to those who struggle? Or has this career path come to an end?
I guess I will take one day at a time.
I will try to find the good in the day.
I will fight for a lunch and not feel guilty.
I will hope. I will encourage those who are abused.
If it doesn't get better, I will seek therapy.
I have a schedule like no other. I have had this schedule before and I wish I would of documented how stressful it was to remind me not to return. Back to back classes, morning, recess, afternoon duty, and 40 kid case load.
It's the same business of yelling, screaming, throwing chairs, hitting others, running away, and taking every opportunity to skip class; at this is elementary school. I hear it down the hall and next door to my classroom. There is probably abuse going on at homes. We have called department of child services and the same record has been played of nothing being done.
It is abusive how the adults are being treated. And we are told to document, use resorative conversations, community circles, reward systems, and give them squishy toys to get them to talk about how they are feeling. I don't see it getting any better. As a specialist, I don't get PLC time, Art/PE/Library, counseling, morning/afternoon recess breaks, and so far not a lunch. My case load is 2 or 3 times the size of the classroom teachers with the addition of morning and afternoon duties. Plus, not only am I supporting the struggling readers (mostly ESL and SPED students) they want me to support the social emotional struggling students during the only free time I have to use the bathroom. If I say no then I'm shamed for not helping these students.
Five years ago I did have a calling to bring reading remediation to Title 1 schools. And I would love for that passion to return. But when kids are surrounding a smaller female student in an aggressive gang like behavior as means of intimidation. And then targeting her numerous times after she told them to stop as she is crying and hugging me for protection; I just don't think my heart can take anymore abuse.
I was hired to help struggling readers learn how to read. But I'm finding that I'm spending more of my time parenting children on how to make better choices. That's not what my degree is in. These children are needing to be taught how to hold a conversation, how to be nice, how to share, how to tell the truth, how to be flexible, how to be respectful, how to listen, how to play together, and how to work as a team. Students in my Title 1 school are trying to survive life and that doesn't not fit in with the classroom environment. If these behaviors were happening at an affluent school the parents would be demanding a change. This is a special calling and I guess I don't have what it takes anymore.
Where is our support? Where are the Instructional Assistants? Where are the Sped teachers? Where are the Paraeducators? It is very frustrating when we don't have enough Sped teachers to meet all their student's minutes so they put the students in my reading class. The ESL program isn't helping improve their reading so teachers put them in my reading class. However, I'm not ESL or SPED endorsed. So, when my case load is over 50% ESL students shouldn't that tell the district that we need more ESL teachers? When Sped students are put in an intervention class to meet their reading minutes shouldn't that tell the district that we need more Sped teachers? And if I'm spending more of my time, including my planning for supporting social emotional students, shouldn't the district allow a budget to support these students so I can focus on getting students to read a grade level? Or maybe I could get equal amounts of planning time like my coworkers; that would be nice?
Survival Mode. I look back at my old posts on teaching. I want that back. My fifth year in Title 1....make it or break it. I'm curious if I end up staying in this profession. So far three teachers have cried while having a conversation with me; and it's only September! Will I find my passion again? Will I find a home where I can bring my OG multisensory style of teaching reading to those who struggle? Or has this career path come to an end?
I guess I will take one day at a time.
I will try to find the good in the day.
I will fight for a lunch and not feel guilty.
I will hope. I will encourage those who are abused.
If it doesn't get better, I will seek therapy.
Raining Tears in My Heart
Miss you so much. The weather is getting colder, leaves are falling, and the rain is becoming more often. It's times like these that are the hardest with my sadness.
So I wanted to tell you about the liter box I have created. I found this long chest with wheels on Craigslist for $45. Then I painted it yellow, blue, then white. After the paint dried I sanded it down to expose all the colors. Dad cut out a square hole on one of the sides so Nora could go in and out. Now it's long and that is important because you know how I hate stepping on scattered pieces of litter on the floor. Since the chest is long Nora has to walk over several litter carpets after she is done doing her business.
Then I went to Hobby Lobby to pick out new hinges and decals for the front of the chest. The hinges were tricky because I shop for how they look not for how they will fit. I had to saw off some of the side pieces, chip away at some of the wood, and rearrange the top but managed to get the top back on. It's cracking where some of the screws were put in since there were so many holes to begin with but that will give me a future project. Now the decal was a waste of money. It was so pretty with antler horns and flowers.......but it wouldn't come off the paper, it stuck to my hair, peeled the paint off the chest, and ripped like it was tin foil. I just threw that away and said good riddance. Therefore, I had to do a bit more sanding to give it that shabby chic look.
Today I went to Home TJ Max and bought a light pink, grey, off white, tan, light blue plaid blanket to drape over the top and hide the side hole. (And hopefully trap the odor in) And I found two big fake furry off white, tan, grey pillows that are softer than cashmere. Plus, a narrow long white fake furry pillow to go across the back. And I got some air fresheners to put inside the box in case the smell is offensive to anyone who wants to sit on top.
The litter box is next to the back door facing the back porch so if I need to air out the space I can just open the sliding door. Plus, if I want a cozy place to sit and drink tea I can curl up on the pillows and look out into the green space.
You would love it. You would have rubbed your hands across the pillows, closed your eyes and made some complimentary comment. I wish we could hang out at my house and have our talks. I miss laughing with you and making you laugh. I see things on Instagram that you would love. This person made a wreath out of cardboard and wrapped the cardboard in white yarn. Then made these yarn balls and hot glued them to the wreath. You liked those simple types of projects with the basic colors. Very little hot glue involved. :)
Your babies had soccer games this weekend. Your youngest is improving on his foot skills. He has a really good coach. Sometimes your baby had a hard time focusing. I wonder where his mind goes.....it would have tugged on your heart a little knowing it was a little piece of you. It's cute how he looks at his dad on the sidelines looking for direction and a sense of approval. He wants to please everyone so bad. A lot like his mama. Your oldest had a game in another state and we didn't go. I'll test her and get the details latter on in the week. We are going to have dinner and game night at Tía's house on Friday.
Today in church I read Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. It's just so hard when my heart breaks because you are not around. This fight is so hard at times.
So I wanted to tell you about the liter box I have created. I found this long chest with wheels on Craigslist for $45. Then I painted it yellow, blue, then white. After the paint dried I sanded it down to expose all the colors. Dad cut out a square hole on one of the sides so Nora could go in and out. Now it's long and that is important because you know how I hate stepping on scattered pieces of litter on the floor. Since the chest is long Nora has to walk over several litter carpets after she is done doing her business.
Then I went to Hobby Lobby to pick out new hinges and decals for the front of the chest. The hinges were tricky because I shop for how they look not for how they will fit. I had to saw off some of the side pieces, chip away at some of the wood, and rearrange the top but managed to get the top back on. It's cracking where some of the screws were put in since there were so many holes to begin with but that will give me a future project. Now the decal was a waste of money. It was so pretty with antler horns and flowers.......but it wouldn't come off the paper, it stuck to my hair, peeled the paint off the chest, and ripped like it was tin foil. I just threw that away and said good riddance. Therefore, I had to do a bit more sanding to give it that shabby chic look.
Today I went to Home TJ Max and bought a light pink, grey, off white, tan, light blue plaid blanket to drape over the top and hide the side hole. (And hopefully trap the odor in) And I found two big fake furry off white, tan, grey pillows that are softer than cashmere. Plus, a narrow long white fake furry pillow to go across the back. And I got some air fresheners to put inside the box in case the smell is offensive to anyone who wants to sit on top.
The litter box is next to the back door facing the back porch so if I need to air out the space I can just open the sliding door. Plus, if I want a cozy place to sit and drink tea I can curl up on the pillows and look out into the green space.
You would love it. You would have rubbed your hands across the pillows, closed your eyes and made some complimentary comment. I wish we could hang out at my house and have our talks. I miss laughing with you and making you laugh. I see things on Instagram that you would love. This person made a wreath out of cardboard and wrapped the cardboard in white yarn. Then made these yarn balls and hot glued them to the wreath. You liked those simple types of projects with the basic colors. Very little hot glue involved. :)
Your babies had soccer games this weekend. Your youngest is improving on his foot skills. He has a really good coach. Sometimes your baby had a hard time focusing. I wonder where his mind goes.....it would have tugged on your heart a little knowing it was a little piece of you. It's cute how he looks at his dad on the sidelines looking for direction and a sense of approval. He wants to please everyone so bad. A lot like his mama. Your oldest had a game in another state and we didn't go. I'll test her and get the details latter on in the week. We are going to have dinner and game night at Tía's house on Friday.
Today in church I read Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. It's just so hard when my heart breaks because you are not around. This fight is so hard at times.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
School Has Started
Your baby likes his teacher. He says she is athletic and very strict. The bully student that had five brothers is gone from the school. I think he is the 'teachers pet'. You would love how he looks up to his big sister. We took them out to dinner the other night and he was just smiling at her and making her giggle. She got her teeth pulled out by the way and she took it like a pro......less than 20 minutes. I wish I could tell you more but I honestly can't remember because I was giving him such a bad time about his teacher. Then some how the conversation took a turn on men lactating......
Your oldest is taking woodworking class and I think she enjoys it. It is so cute hearing her talk about the sanding belt and drill bits. Soccer and her teeth kind of take over most of the conversations. I try to remember to text her how much I love her. My heart breaks you aren't there to make them snacks for when they come home from school. I wish I could be there to do that for them. Grampa is reading the Harry Potter books so they have something in common to talk about. He is on book three and it's so cute how he asks questions while she is watching her brother's soccer games.
They are going to have lots of friends, make great grades, and spread their smiles to those who need one. You would be proud of who they are and the smart choices they make....(except for your oldest wearing shirts that show her mid drift) We are trying to catch her on that one.....I smile to think when her mama was around she didn't get away with that one. I will say on the soccer team she was one of the few players with the longest shorts and she had her shirt tucked in. That one would make you proud.
Love and miss you tremendously. Send down some hugs for me. Ms. Alicia isn't working at my school any more and with you gone; my hugs are dwindling down for when I see dad on the weekends.
Your oldest is taking woodworking class and I think she enjoys it. It is so cute hearing her talk about the sanding belt and drill bits. Soccer and her teeth kind of take over most of the conversations. I try to remember to text her how much I love her. My heart breaks you aren't there to make them snacks for when they come home from school. I wish I could be there to do that for them. Grampa is reading the Harry Potter books so they have something in common to talk about. He is on book three and it's so cute how he asks questions while she is watching her brother's soccer games.
They are going to have lots of friends, make great grades, and spread their smiles to those who need one. You would be proud of who they are and the smart choices they make....(except for your oldest wearing shirts that show her mid drift) We are trying to catch her on that one.....I smile to think when her mama was around she didn't get away with that one. I will say on the soccer team she was one of the few players with the longest shorts and she had her shirt tucked in. That one would make you proud.
Love and miss you tremendously. Send down some hugs for me. Ms. Alicia isn't working at my school any more and with you gone; my hugs are dwindling down for when I see dad on the weekends.
I Adopted Mama Kitty
I have adopted Mama Kitty and decided to name her: Nora Adhira. Nora, because I like the Thin Man series and Adhira because that is the goddess of lightening. She follows me around, lets me cradle her in my arms. She got an eye infection so the vet visits have already started in the first week. You would love her!
So, I have five cats at my house. Nora upstairs, Mama cat and her three babies downstairs. Nora looks like our cat growing up. She is soft again, her belly hair is growing, fleas are gone, and she meows every time I leave the house.
So crazy...I feel like I'm cleaning the litter boxes left and right. They go through so much food....I guess, I will be going to Costco tomorrow to pick up the big bag of cat food. She probably needs a friend to stay with her while I am at work. But you can tell she is very appreciated and it turned out to be a good fit.
The babies downstairs are sleeping next to me. Mama cat comes and gives me some sugar when she wants food. Their fleas are gone and they are all using the little box, so I've let them roam all downstairs. Poor Nora hates it when I go down there. She wants to visit the cats so bad. I showed Mama cat Nora through the downstairs door windows....she wasn't too happy. Nora was quite nice...it must be Mama cat protecting the babies.
So, I have five cats at my house. Nora upstairs, Mama cat and her three babies downstairs. Nora looks like our cat growing up. She is soft again, her belly hair is growing, fleas are gone, and she meows every time I leave the house.
So crazy...I feel like I'm cleaning the litter boxes left and right. They go through so much food....I guess, I will be going to Costco tomorrow to pick up the big bag of cat food. She probably needs a friend to stay with her while I am at work. But you can tell she is very appreciated and it turned out to be a good fit.
The babies downstairs are sleeping next to me. Mama cat comes and gives me some sugar when she wants food. Their fleas are gone and they are all using the little box, so I've let them roam all downstairs. Poor Nora hates it when I go down there. She wants to visit the cats so bad. I showed Mama cat Nora through the downstairs door windows....she wasn't too happy. Nora was quite nice...it must be Mama cat protecting the babies.
Soccer Season has Started
You would have been so proud. Yesterday was your baby's game and he was the goalie for the first half. Hard for him to be so focused when most of the game is being played on the other side of the field. But the second half he was out there getting that ball and trying to make an assist. There are two other kids on the team that take over the game, but it helps them win and that makes your baby happy.
Now your oldest had a game on the big field in the pouring rain. It was cold, raining, and their shoe laces were all coming undone. She was in the middles and had good passes and tried to be aggressive. I thought she was being very brave because the opponent was always a foot taller than her and 15 pounds heavier. They won their game and the cutest part was after half time. She was out there waiting for the other team giggling and making jokes with her team mates. I'm sure, if your not too busy singing with the angels up in heaven, you were looking down with that beautiful smile.
Now your oldest had a game on the big field in the pouring rain. It was cold, raining, and their shoe laces were all coming undone. She was in the middles and had good passes and tried to be aggressive. I thought she was being very brave because the opponent was always a foot taller than her and 15 pounds heavier. They won their game and the cutest part was after half time. She was out there waiting for the other team giggling and making jokes with her team mates. I'm sure, if your not too busy singing with the angels up in heaven, you were looking down with that beautiful smile.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
A Dream Comes True
This would have made you so happy! My dream finally came true. It took 45 years, but someone finally took me to Cinderella's castle for dinner to meet the princesses! Unfortunately, Cinderella was the most disappointing. We all have those 'off' days; I guess. The best was Snow White! She gave a little trash talk about Cinderella. And then Sleeping Beauty gave me a hug. A little piece of heaven.
Fostering Kittens
I have started to Foster kittens. And I love it! It began in May 2019 right when school got out. A mama/papa cat and three of their kittens were abandoned. I got the mama and kittens right away and put them downstairs. The kittens were so small and still feeding off of mama. I got them the whole summer! They needed vaccinations, be cleaned of fleas, giving worm medication, and spayed/neutered.
I might have to rescue mama kitty from the shelter and keep this cuddlier. Your kids love to hold the kittens and spend time with them. I don't think they'll have a lot of time with this new group. But over the summer they loved to come, sit, play, and hold the kittens. However, Sabrina is still our favorite.
Mama kitty was such a good mama. She has not be adopted yet. I made them each a scrap book to go home with the cats when they got adopted. I can't believe no one has adopted her yet. I just checked on her today and she had a big sore above her mouth. I guess she chewed on the wire to the fan and electrocuted herself. I am heart broken. All the kittens have been adopted and she is all alone.
Now I have my second kitten family. A household noticed a mama cat and three kittens coming from under their back shed. They are FLUFFY!!! And one is cuddlier!!!!
Starting School
Well, your beauties have started school. I asked for their 'First Day of School' pictures but no one sent them to me. I guess there are new boundaries. Maybe some day I'll see them. I'm sure they looked smart, and with-it. I got your baby this checkered button-down shirt, stripes on the inside of the rolled up sleeves and low front pockets. You would have loved it! Seeing him strut around like he was a movie star! Your first born is growing up so fast. She picked only clothes that were conventional; to be like you. "Tía" she said, "I have the same style as my mom." "We like things plain." She is trying to hold on to you with all her might.
She gets her teeth pulled next week. She brings you up in a lot of our conversations. "Remember when mama said...." "Remember when mama did....." And I get that twinge of pain in the back of my throat. I imagine you come to her mind when she is afraid of the unknown.
She had practice the other day and I was taking her home. Tears coming down my face as we pulled into 7/11 for a Slurpee.....yep; I remember. I remember so much it hurts.
She gets her teeth pulled next week. She brings you up in a lot of our conversations. "Remember when mama said...." "Remember when mama did....." And I get that twinge of pain in the back of my throat. I imagine you come to her mind when she is afraid of the unknown.
She had practice the other day and I was taking her home. Tears coming down my face as we pulled into 7/11 for a Slurpee.....yep; I remember. I remember so much it hurts.
New Campsite
One last hurrha camping trip to breath in fresh air, relax in the hammock and suck the melted part of the marshmallow after it has been toasted a beautiful carmel color. Thoughts of you flooded into my brain. Memories of you by the fire, taking pictures and getting dinner ready. Tears flowed freely as I knew you were in a better place; without pain, but my heart yearning for one more hug, giggle, and someone coming up to hold my hand.
When the tent site was finished and the audio book began, I got in my hammock to look up and find a man sitting in the front seat of a creepy white van looking over in my direction. You would have laughed. We would of had jokes for years; the kind where we only knew the punch line. More tears.
Nothing happened. An occasional look up to see if he was still there; yep. Eating his dinner, sitting in the front seat of his van. A giggle escaped knowing I would be sleeping with my steel pipe next to me in the tent. You would have laughed. We would have giggled all night; me probably peeing my pants.
Everything the same. Fire, dinner, S'mores, eggs for breakfast, a good hike, but without you. It's like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without jelly. I love bread. I love peanut butter. I miss the jelly.
When the tent site was finished and the audio book began, I got in my hammock to look up and find a man sitting in the front seat of a creepy white van looking over in my direction. You would have laughed. We would of had jokes for years; the kind where we only knew the punch line. More tears.
Nothing happened. An occasional look up to see if he was still there; yep. Eating his dinner, sitting in the front seat of his van. A giggle escaped knowing I would be sleeping with my steel pipe next to me in the tent. You would have laughed. We would have giggled all night; me probably peeing my pants.
Everything the same. Fire, dinner, S'mores, eggs for breakfast, a good hike, but without you. It's like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without jelly. I love bread. I love peanut butter. I miss the jelly.
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