Well your oldest had a birthday and she is now 13! Ni Ni came over from Chicago and bought a Red Velvet Cake. She also brought Cinnabon cimmanon rolls for her Birthday breakfast. Friday night she had a friend spend the night. And she texted me to ask if I could take them to the dance. She had her ripped jeans on and an athletic shirt. She straighted her hair for Halloween.....You would have not liked it at all!.....and a little lip liner....super cute. I wanted to sneak into the dance but their was such a huge crowd at the door I decided it was not worth the wait. But I imagined us waiting in the parking lot till it died down to peek our heads in. Your oldest said there was some usual crying in the bathroom from the 8th graders who had broken up with their boyfriends.
Anyway, I got her some boots (super cute) and body art pens. She got jeans, mechanical pencils, art supplies, and a replacement cross necklace. She was very happy. And more social media.....I want to send you stuff but this is better because I can't see that you haven't opened it.
Dad's birthday is soon and we'll be going to the Cheesecake Factory. Many a times I have thought I can't do this a lone. I'm not enough. There is so much hidden sadness and pain. We put up a strong front but we are hurting so much inside. My cards will never be enough...you always found the good cards. Hopefully, I can get through this event with a smile on face and I can hold the tears in until I get into my car for on the ride home.
Sunday, November 3, 2019
New Addition
I have a new addition to the family. I needed a companion for Nora and so I signed up for rescueme.org for a Cornish or Devon Rex. Well, a Devon Rex came up who lived in Washington. As I'm driving to go meet her guess what I passed! Preybstal Church! I couldn't believe it! So weird to see the building. It looked run down and old. Anyway. This woman used to have two Devon Rexes but one passed away and she didn't want this one (Paris) to be by herself. This $500 cat and all she wanted was $50 donated to the Humane Society.
Yes, she looks like Jack. So I now have Nora (mom likes her) and Nikki; named after the characters from the Thin Man series. And I like my hair pink.
I Think You Were Laughing the Whole Time.
Well, Halloween has come and gone. It was a strange one. The first one without you, the first one without your oldest, and the first one in the new subdivision. I ended up going with your baby to meet up with his friend. It was suppose to be a short little outing and then we would be going back home for dinner. Well, I left my phone at home, the friend's mother had a sick child and went home, and the friends dad (who is not with the mother) ended up changing his plans to stay in your baby's neighborhood. Two hours later!!! Trick or Treating with this total stranger (Even Ben hadn't met him) your baby tells me he's tired (and probably hungry) and we head home. People thought we were married and going with our sons Trick or Treating. I was Maleficent and the boy's father was some Uncle Sam Devil. However, I was so cold from the Downtown Festival that I had taken half of my costume off to wear my Winter coat and scarf.
Now there were parents with your oldest in her group. And it was fun to see her running around the neighborhood with her cape flying behind her. She was Super Girl and your baby was a big giant panda head. It was hilarious and 50% off. They made out like bandits with lot of goodies to eat for the rest of the year. I missed you. I missed this special time.
The weather was beautiful and your baby and I got some great pictures outside with the beautiful leaves. You would have loved it! The lighting, the Fall colors, the cute little kids costumes, and seeing all your friends in the neighborhood all dressed up with their kids. Ben stayed at home and passed out candy (in comfort). Unfortunately, in your oldest group there was one of his students and she needed to use the bathroom; your house was available. And there was your husband in his long underwear and drinking a beer! I can just imagine you watching over these hilarious situations and having a good chuckle. I hope they never get too old to dress up.
Now there were parents with your oldest in her group. And it was fun to see her running around the neighborhood with her cape flying behind her. She was Super Girl and your baby was a big giant panda head. It was hilarious and 50% off. They made out like bandits with lot of goodies to eat for the rest of the year. I missed you. I missed this special time.
The weather was beautiful and your baby and I got some great pictures outside with the beautiful leaves. You would have loved it! The lighting, the Fall colors, the cute little kids costumes, and seeing all your friends in the neighborhood all dressed up with their kids. Ben stayed at home and passed out candy (in comfort). Unfortunately, in your oldest group there was one of his students and she needed to use the bathroom; your house was available. And there was your husband in his long underwear and drinking a beer! I can just imagine you watching over these hilarious situations and having a good chuckle. I hope they never get too old to dress up.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
What is My Next Step
Well, I'm toying with the idea of being a classroom teacher. I'm praying about what I should do next. There will be a 2nd grade spot opening up next year with only 15 kids. It might be a good situation to be in for starting out as a classroom teacher. However, I would be staying in this district and that is discouraging. Or do I follow my old principal, knowing she will support me? Or do I go into the same district as your kids? It would be nice to have their same schedule. Their teachers are always getting planning and support time. But it would be a larger class size. So if you could sprinkle a little 'anti-anxiety' heaven dust down my way I would appreciate it. It was always so nice to be able to talk to you about these transitions because of your guidance and positive mind set. So, I'll keep sending you these notes of my thoughts in hopes that it will guide me in the right direction. However, God has always opened the door when I've needed it and it has always been a good direction for me.
Pros: small class sizes, there is a good 2nd grade teacher to collaborate with, there are specials (PE, Art, Library, Morning/Afternoon recess, classroom library, Project Read intervention, I wouldn't have to do duty, I wouldn't have to do the three year evaluation, I know how the school runs, I know the kids/parents, good first grade teachers in preparing kids.
Cons: the district, no / little technology, high trauma impacted kids, Lucy reading curriculum, SPED teachers don't meet their minutes with students, little trainings, teachers expected to do all interventions, few subs, a lot of testing, little budget, little parent involvement, liberal views, I'd have to learn all new curriculum, travel time, high number of transient students with little support.
I'll keep working....This is helping.
Thanks
Pros: small class sizes, there is a good 2nd grade teacher to collaborate with, there are specials (PE, Art, Library, Morning/Afternoon recess, classroom library, Project Read intervention, I wouldn't have to do duty, I wouldn't have to do the three year evaluation, I know how the school runs, I know the kids/parents, good first grade teachers in preparing kids.
Cons: the district, no / little technology, high trauma impacted kids, Lucy reading curriculum, SPED teachers don't meet their minutes with students, little trainings, teachers expected to do all interventions, few subs, a lot of testing, little budget, little parent involvement, liberal views, I'd have to learn all new curriculum, travel time, high number of transient students with little support.
I'll keep working....This is helping.
Thanks
The Struggle
So your baby is in a pickle. He lost is DS case with all his games in Costa Rica. And he has not told his dad. I know if you were around you would smooth the blow with hugs, motivational speeches, and nightly talks on how you were the same way.
I'm trying my best to encourage him to be honest but this is very hard for him. The struggle is real and I get it. I know he needs to do this instead of spinning the web of lies when it comes to his DS games. It's so hard for me not to say anything to his dad and to watch your baby go deeper and deeper into this secret.
We went shopping this weekend and traveled to three different Game Stops to buy one of the lost games. He thinks that if he finds all the games and the case he lost then his dad will not find out. Is it my role to encourage him to be honest on his own or to hint at his dad to bring this out in the open? I so wish you were here. You would have the right things to say; I miss your compassion and wisdom. It hurts because you know they are making a bad decision and also because we know he came by this honestly.
On a side note he did ask what I thought he should be when he grows up. So, I think his dreams of being homeless and a bank robber have sailed away.
I'm trying my best to encourage him to be honest but this is very hard for him. The struggle is real and I get it. I know he needs to do this instead of spinning the web of lies when it comes to his DS games. It's so hard for me not to say anything to his dad and to watch your baby go deeper and deeper into this secret.
We went shopping this weekend and traveled to three different Game Stops to buy one of the lost games. He thinks that if he finds all the games and the case he lost then his dad will not find out. Is it my role to encourage him to be honest on his own or to hint at his dad to bring this out in the open? I so wish you were here. You would have the right things to say; I miss your compassion and wisdom. It hurts because you know they are making a bad decision and also because we know he came by this honestly.
On a side note he did ask what I thought he should be when he grows up. So, I think his dreams of being homeless and a bank robber have sailed away.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
We Miss You.
It was the first time your best friend didn't get a hilarious sassy birthday card from you. It was the Anthropology sale, where you find all those great deals. The sale has passed and your friends are missing stories of your great finds. Seeing you with your camera at the soccer games. And just being at home preparing snacks for your kids and greeting them when they come home from school. Open houses have passed. Your eldest has brought home her first wood working project and wants to redecorate her room (again). They are building a Hobby Lobby near my house and you would have been so excited. Reaching out to hold mom's hand. And giving dad a hug. Sabrina wanting your warm lap and scratch behind her ear. Meals are from Costco and cookies are store bought. You would roll your eyes. Huffles is still angry at the world and your oldest keeps love him like no other. Faithfully, trying to break down the hard exterior. I can't imagine as the years roll by that it gets easier. It seems to me that it's getting harder.
I met with a Reading Specailist
Well,
I met with a Reading Specialist and 15 minute into the conversation we both realized that she is a firm believer in Whole- Part-Whole language learning through reading books. And I am a firm believer in Part to Whole language learning through sequential and systematic teaching with books that follow the sequential teaching. You know each are passionate about their beliefs and do not budge. I budged only because I am uncomfortable in confrontational settings and lack academic vocabulary.
It was very hard for me to hear for an hour and a half all the things (that taught me how to read; as a struggling reader) was wrong. And that I should have struggling readers not sound out words but guess and then affirm them when they are wrong. At one point she was modeling her method and I started to cry. It must have been the trauma of my whole to part schooling resurfacing. And I said to her then I can't be a Reading Specialist. If that is how they want me to teach then I need to change jobs. I just wished I could have the confidence to be a Dyslexic Therapist full time. No retirement, no health care, no guarantee of students, and not enough pay to support my mortgage/bills.
I need to believe in my method. I need to believe in my scores. I need to believe in my training. I have my evidence. I have my life to prove this works. I have realized that I need affirmation.....probably more than the average person. This would be the product from the public school system failing to teach me how to read. I am Dyslexic. The Whole to Part left me with uncertainty, lack of connection in my brain, anxiety, little reading skills, and no confidence.
The IDA conference will give me that boost. That support. That affirmation. (Plus, I will get to meet Barbara Wilson and tell her face to face 'Thank you'!!!!!) And I will pray that God will give me the confidence to finish this year strong in my beliefs. Then find a place where I will get affirmation through my boss or coworkers.
On a bright note. During the meeting a fourth grader came to my room asking for an assignment for her and her friends to do in her classroom. A little sunlight beaming through the rain clouds.
I met with a Reading Specialist and 15 minute into the conversation we both realized that she is a firm believer in Whole- Part-Whole language learning through reading books. And I am a firm believer in Part to Whole language learning through sequential and systematic teaching with books that follow the sequential teaching. You know each are passionate about their beliefs and do not budge. I budged only because I am uncomfortable in confrontational settings and lack academic vocabulary.
It was very hard for me to hear for an hour and a half all the things (that taught me how to read; as a struggling reader) was wrong. And that I should have struggling readers not sound out words but guess and then affirm them when they are wrong. At one point she was modeling her method and I started to cry. It must have been the trauma of my whole to part schooling resurfacing. And I said to her then I can't be a Reading Specialist. If that is how they want me to teach then I need to change jobs. I just wished I could have the confidence to be a Dyslexic Therapist full time. No retirement, no health care, no guarantee of students, and not enough pay to support my mortgage/bills.
I need to believe in my method. I need to believe in my scores. I need to believe in my training. I have my evidence. I have my life to prove this works. I have realized that I need affirmation.....probably more than the average person. This would be the product from the public school system failing to teach me how to read. I am Dyslexic. The Whole to Part left me with uncertainty, lack of connection in my brain, anxiety, little reading skills, and no confidence.
The IDA conference will give me that boost. That support. That affirmation. (Plus, I will get to meet Barbara Wilson and tell her face to face 'Thank you'!!!!!) And I will pray that God will give me the confidence to finish this year strong in my beliefs. Then find a place where I will get affirmation through my boss or coworkers.
On a bright note. During the meeting a fourth grader came to my room asking for an assignment for her and her friends to do in her classroom. A little sunlight beaming through the rain clouds.
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